Dem's Bad Day (Story)
Note: This is a comedy make for political jokes. Don't get offended if I make a controversial joke. Chapter 1: Nancy Pelosi to the SOTU Nancy's butler: Nancy, it was time to go to the State of the Union. Nancy Pelosi: I don't want to go, it makes President Trump look good. Nancy's butler: Well, he is going good with the economy. Nancy Pelosi: Exactly, we want to make Trump look bad because it's makes our party look good. That is why we make up the Russian Investigation. Nancy's butler: Anyway Nancy, time to go. Nancy Pelosi: *drops phone* gosh darn it. Nancy's butler: what's happened? Nancy Pelosi: My phone just broke so I can't tweet about how bad Trump is! Nancy's butler: Your acting like a millennial everyday Nancy. Remember that taxpayers will pay for your new phone. Nancy Pelosi: Thank You butler and the crony capitalism system. Chapter 2: Nancy and Chuck Nancy's butler: Welcome to Washington D.C. Nancy. Nancy Pelosi: I just come here about everyday almost and I don't even have to pay for it. Nancy's butler: Welcome to the convenience of being one of the top politicians in the country. Chuck Schumer: Hey Nancy! Nancy Pelosi: Hey Chuck! Chuck Schumer: Darn this State of the Union, I hate Trump when he talks good about the country. Nancy Pelosi: I hope that a recession happens so we will win in the Senate and the Presidency back in 2020s, so we can introduce higher taxes and make it harder to buy a gun. Chuck Schumer: Yeah! Thank God, if that happened! Bernie Sanders: Hi Nancy and Chuck. Chuck Schumer: Get out of here, Bernie. Nancy Pelosi: Yeah! Bernie Sanders: Well, I can talk to AOC about how great socialism is! Nancy Pelosi: Thank God he is gone. Chuck Schumer: Yeah! someone who doesn't get this presidential funds from massive companies. Chapter 3: Beginning of the State of the Union Nancy Pelosi: I wish I didn't have to come here. Nancy's butler: Well Nancy, sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do. Nancy Pelosi: i'm 78 years old. not a 4 year old. Nancy Pelosi thinking: Well, i'm going to have to sit here near Pence and Trump. sigh Donald Trump: Hey Nancy. Nancy Pelosi: Hey Donald. Donald Trump: I'm going to make a HUGE... and GREAT speech today. Nancy Pelosi: sigh again. Donald Trump: You know Nancy, I have a 50% apporval rating. Nancy Pelosi: That is by Rasmussen. Donald Trump: Yeah! The only TRUE polling source in this country. Nancy Pelosi: Everything is fake news to you. Donald Trump: No! Hannity is a great man. Nancy Pelosi: sigh the third time. Chapter 4: After the SOTU Nancy Pelosi: Chuck, that state of the union was awful. Chuck Schumer: Talking about protecting babies in the womb. Nancy Pelosi: and how much he has gotten rid of criminals. Chuck Schumer: He also say "America will never be a socialist country", that really make Bernie Sanders mad. Nancy Pelosi: and that woman that I can't spell her name. Chuck Schumer: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Nancy Pelosi: Yeah. That one. Thank God we are out of there. Chuck Schumer: Me Too. Nancy Pelosi: Now i'm going to sign a bill to protect undocumented immigrants who committed crimes not to be deported. Chuck Schumer: That is a great bill! I would vote for that is the senate. Nancy Pelosi: Yeah. I will actually want to make it legal for non-citizens to vote! Chuck Schumer: I would vote for that too. Chapter 5: Nancy talking to her Comrades Nancy Pelosi: Fellow Democrats, what bill would we introduce next? Ilhan Omar: Ban Israel people from coming into the country. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Abolish ICE! Eric Swalwell: Ban all guns! Tulsi Gabbard: End the wars! Nancy Pelosi: Tulsi. Get the heck out of here. Go and talk about your anti-war crap somewhere else. Tulsi Gabbard: Walks away. Nancy Pelosi: Thank God she is gone, An actual politician who cares about her country. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Makes Illegals legal to vote? Nancy Pelosi: Yes. Good idea AOC! Chapter 6: Nancy introduces the bill to the House Nancy Pelosi: Fellow congress, I am introducing this bill become I feel like it is extremely racist to not let illegal immigrants to vote. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: I fully agree. Mark Meadows: What the heck? Nancy Pelosi: Yes Meadows, we are introducing a bill to allow undocumented citizens to vote. Dan Chenshaw: No! This is unacceptable. Nancy Pelosi: Shut Up you eyepatch wearing weirdo. Dan Chenshaw: I served this country! Nancy Pelosi: Who cares? I don't actually care for the USA nor it's people. Dan Chenshaw: You want to have power, that's what you want! Nancy Pelosi: Exactly Dan. Now let's vote on it. Chapter 7: The Senate Nancy Pelosi: Now we introduced Illegal Voting Rights to the house and we voted on it. Now to the senate. Nancy Pelosi: Hi the senate, we democrats want to introduce a bill to allow illegals to vote. Chuck Schumer: Yes, it is very racist and xenophobic that they can't vote. Nancy Pelosi: Exactly. I introduced this bill because I want racial equality for all, and that includes people that aren't citizens of the United States. Joe Manchin: I'm voting against it. Nancy Pelosi: You're a fake Democrat, Manchin. You should be replaced with a real Democrat like me. Ted Cruz: No this is wrong. If you are not a citizen, you shouldn't vote. Nancy Pelosi: very racist Cruz. If you're seat as Beto O'Rourke. He would be voting for his. Ted Cruz: I'm not racist, i am an american senator that wants border security and non-citizens not to vote. Nancy Pelosi: Shut Up Republicans. We care for civil rights, and your a bunch of bigoted racist xenophobes. The Senate: The Senate would vote 54 against and 46for. Chapter 8: Mad Nancy Nancy's butler: How was your day, Nancy? Nancy Pelosi: Bad. just very bad. Nancy's butler: No worries, I bought you a new phone which doesn't break. Nancy Pelosi: Thank You. Now I can tweet about how terrible the Republicans are! Nancy's butler: Your welcome. The End. Category:Politics Category:Comedy Category:United States